I was molested by my grandpa

I used to go to my grandmas house. She was my best friend, the person I could lean on, when I was very young. I would go to her home frequently after and before school even started. I would come usually during the first days of every school year for my grandparents blessings. It was a form of “good luck” so that the school year would turn out as planned, though unfortunately this particular year wasnt great. The incident occurred when I was still in elementary school, and I was still very clueless at the age I was. During that year I had gotten one of my last blessings from my grandparents, and had shown them the outfit I was going to wear for that day, I had gotten flooded with comments from my grandpa. It wasnt too weird or odd for me, and I didnt think much of it until I actually look back at it now. He had called me sexy, and beautiful, and Im sure various other things, but those two stood out the most and sort of engraved in me....I know that him saying that seemed harmless to most, but after that he got really....close. Too close. I had spent the night at their house one day, and as usual I would sleep with my grandma in her bed towards the edge while she slept in the middle next to my grandpa. I had huddled the blankets close and eventually went to bed, in the morning I had noticed I was rolled/pulled to the middle of the bed and as I opened my eyes I saw my grandpa laying there. He was smiling at me and uttering some words that I couldnt really make out....He had his hand lodged in my pants and was touching me. I didnt know what to do, I think my grandma was in the kitchen or somewhere else around the house cleaning like she usually would. My grandpa continued doing what he was doing and told me to basically not tell anyone....I didnt know how to feel and repeatedly took his hands out of my pants but he kept doing it.....I stopped coming over to their house after that. When I was forced to come over I would give my grandpa the cold shoulder and not even acknowledge his very existence. Which I would get in trouble for by my mother, as I was “disrespecting him”. Time went by and he hadnt touched me since that last incident, but he had ended up touching someone else, my sister. She was younger than I was but she spoke up about it and eventually told my mother in which I had confessed as well. When she heard the news she couldnt believe what she had heard and refused to. She called my grandfather and of course took his word for it when he said he never laid hands on us. My mom then after said that we just were mistaken and that he wasnt doing that, that ,”We were too young for her to believe us”. I was heartbroken and lost the person who I thought was on my side was not actually on my side. It was the worst feeling ever, and I kept silent from then on. Take this a few months earlier, my grandma ended up passing away, I was devastated and already depressed at a young age. I remember sobbing on the bed as my mother brought up the news, I was just holding her tightly. I felt horrible because I never got to spend the last few moments with her because of her wretched husband (I strayed away only because he was there). I thought things couldnt get worse, but they did. Since he was old and could not care for himself he eventually moved into my aunts house. That was my only safe space I had after my grandma passed and he eventually invaded that. At that same time I was living with that same aunt because my father was gone and me, my siblings, and mother could not afford to live anywhere. Thus, he used that to his very advantage. While living there he managed to molest me four more times. He again would slide his hands down in my genital area and touch me whenever I would be laying down alone or simply on the couch, he would spank and grab my bottom when I would walk past him, or sometimes he would even hump me. He exposed his genitals to me and would even wave for me to come over to him. All I knew was I didnt want him doing it and tried to stay away. I had told my younger sister about it and she motivated me to call my mom and tell her once again. My younger sister had even seen him grab my bottom as I was walking to the kitchen herself and basically pledged to be a witness. My mother didnt believe me again, she told me he was simply playing with me. I thought she would believe me this one time because I was in middle school now and had more credibility than what I did in elementary school. But she didnt, I grew angry at the world, I was lost, confused and more depressed than ever. I had considered killing myself and I wanted to stop going to school since things were already hard having one parent at the time and being bullied constantly at school. Having my grandpa continuously touching me didnt make anything any better-it made my life a living hell. I lived there with him for an entire year and a portion of my 8th grade year before my father came back and my family got back up on its feet again. I moved away to another state and I had to finish the last half of the eighth grade somewhere else. Life was good, really good. I stayed there until I was in the 9th grade and first semester was over. My family moved back to the original state I was born in (where my grandpa resided). While there my aunt invited us over on a trip to Lake Tahoe, I thought, “hey that sounds fun, no harm in going”. I was wrong again. They had taken my grandpa with them and during the beginning of the trip he did nothing to me....That is until they stopped to play in the snow before we headed back home. I was sitting in the back seat of the truck while my grandpa was in the middle. I didnt want to play in the snow and stayed in the truck because they were nearby if I needed any help anyways. My grandpa was also paralyzed from one arm, so I thought he wasnt going to try anything. I was sitting on the opposite side of him with my legs kicked over the seat and shut closed. My grandfather got restless and tried to move himself and make way towards me even though half of him wasnt functioning. He was hanging onto my leg tightly and was attempting to touch me, he did for a short moment until I managed to move my legs and stormed out of the truck. I was tired of feeling like crap and feeling ashamed as if this were my fault. I told my aunt and mother, and to my surprise they both believed me for once. I felt relieved, so relieved. My mother went to cuss him out and talked about how he couldnt come near me ever again. He tried to play the victim and said he didnt do anything once again. My mom yelled and scolded him so much that he basically told her something along the lines of “I wanted it, I let him do it”. Infuriated my mom had my brother and my male cousins ride with my grandpa while all the girls rode with my aunt back home in her car. He hasnt touched me since, nor does he try to really communicate either. From time to time he tries to buy my forgiveness with money, but I refuse and now he cant go anywhere near ANY female anymore. Though now due to this incident I am terrified of meeting new boys/guys/men in general, and get anxiety whenever I have to talk to them or be near them all because of him....I wish I was able to erase that portion of my life and be able to communicate normally among guys....

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anonymous Disgusting October 26, 2017 at 12:00 am 1 0