An Acquaintance

I've been in love with a girl for nearly four years now.
I met through a friend from primary school.
I think of her constantly. She's was way out of my league then. We talk, but we've never talked outside of school or the bus. We're barely friends, at least that's how I think she views us, acquaintances.
I've trying to close the gap between us, try to talk to her more often, but it's near damned impossible. She either is always on a different bus or with her friends. when she's with her friends I can barely get a word in edgeways because I'm useless in a group conversation.
I've also tried to become closer to her league. I was fat, naive and unhygienic when I met her. So I started working out and taking better care of myself. many friends commented on how \"ripped\" I am now and recently when I went on a school trip abroad my classmates said I was unrecognisable in my passport photo.
Although I fear it's all for nothing, despite these things I can't change the fact that youre taller than me (I couldn't lean in to kiss you the way boyfriends are supposed to) or that your friends seem to just push you into the arms of other boys or that you're becoming more independent everyday while I just seem to be homestuck. I thought we could have something special, we had good conversations whenever we I did get the chance to talk to you.
But recently I noticed how other boys just as easily slipped into conversation with you and how they make laugh just as hard and how you've been giving the cold shoulder lately.
I'm so crazily in love with you. It's pathetic really. I see you in all things beautiful. When I was abroad and ran through the night time streets with my friends, I saw lovers all about the place and wished each of them was us.
Its unbearable somedays.

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anonymous Crush March 06, 2013 at 12:00 am 0 0