I was abused

I was sexually abused as a child by a neighbor man and his brother. I never told anyone and it has haunted me my whole life and has definitely affected my relationships with men.

I hide the pain by eating and have built this wall of fat to surround myself and make me unattractive to men, that way I don't get hurt.

The most shameful thing of all is the abuse has left me with a life long obsession with being fingered, the more fingers the better....so disgusted with this fetish but have no idea how to stop thinking about being fingered by men. I don't have the guts to act on this obsession and at my present weight I can't seem to attract a man anyways so that's probably a good thing.

Just wanted to finally get this off my chest and hopefully start to heal a bit inside and find a new way to stop the pain I still feel.

---

anonymous Other November 18, 2011 at 12:00 am 0 0