Is it just me

Okay so you'll never know the full story cause it would take hours to type or even tell you, however, I will try my best to get this out of my mind for you to judge me in any manor you wish.

First of all it started on the second Sunday in September at about 2-2:30pm 2011. She popped up on some internet social site and we began talking.. We talked for around 4 hours then.. She told me thing and vice versa and then she added me on msn! (I don't even think that program exists anymore)

So we talked on there for a while, maybe two weeks? She then gave me her number and it went on from there, you know, the typical way relationships and friendships start.. We got talking.. Got ever so little, a tiny bit more dependant on each other as the weeks went on.. Then it kinda went over the top, we talked every single day for most of the day, cute huh?

Well after about 18 months of this online/distance friendship thing, we had a little argument, I honestly can't remember hat it was about.. I think it was something to do with jealousy or something, but anyway.. That made us meet.. We decided it'd be in the best interest of both of us to meet.. How crazy? I'm shy and quiet and unconfident.. Three of the worst things in the world! However, I braved it and we met! The day probably wasn't perfect to her, but it was a big achievement for me.. I had to buy her a little gold necklace to start the conversation.. And it worked so I was happy!

So we met! Things were great and then SHE text me one day out of the blue, saying how nice/good looking ect I was.. Well, not pulling my own towel.. Yeah, what would you expect from talking and being close to someone that long? So I was very happy throughout Christmas.. And then January 6/7th this year! She stopped talking.. Out of the blue.. NOTHING WHATSOEVER DIFFERENT ABOUT ME OR HER.. She stopped talking. You explain that to me? I still don't understand.. Well, after a month in February I text her saying 'happy birthday, hope you've had a good day' and then she replied.. Saying 'I'm sorry I stopped talking things have just been too much for me, all the lying to my mum and all the exam pressure.. We can be friends that's it..' I didn't know what to say, yeah, I liked her a lot, well maybe even I loved her.. But for her to say that really hurt me for some odd reason so I just tried to ask why she wasn't talking but she wouldn't say..

Anyway about a week after that she text me and accused me of putting her mobile number on some sex website or something.. I will promise anyone, I never done that.. But she never believed me, she hated me and I was getting abusive texts from people I didn't even know saying how harsh I was.. And they would get the police involved and beat me up and what not..

But yeah after that I changed my number, I couldn't handle the threats and she stopped talking, what do you expect?

I had the courage to email her and apologise for what happened and she would have calmed down by then and I explained my part and she said sorry too.. But then I mentioned maybe, we should start talking in the odd occasions.. I knew how much she liked the company and she always enjoyed it.. But she never replied and to this day when you're reading this right now.. She hasn't replied, and deep down I know I will never speak to her again..

That hurts, she was amazing.. I loved her, I would do anything to talk to her again, but that's never going to happen.. I can't live my life anymore, she was everything to me


I'm tired, lonely and all I wanted was one measly reply

Thanks for taking your time to read this,

Much appreciated(:

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anonymous Crush December 10, 2013 at 12:00 am 0 0