Ashamed of the way I lost my virginity

When I was a 15 year old boy, a girl in the same class as me lived next door. Her bedroom was right beside mine, and on occasion when her father had a drink in him, he would come into her room and force himself on her. I was able to hear everything. I was shocked the first time it happened, but eventually (to my shame, but I was a sex-obsessed adolescent) I started to find it a turn on, and would sometimes even masturbate as I listened to her bed creaking away. I was a virgin, and one night had an appalling idea. I recorded one of their sex sessions on a cassette and played it to her one day at school. She was terrified, but I promised to keep quiet...on one condition, and you can guess what that was. On looking back, I would like to say that I have no idea what I was thinking, but it wouldn't be true - I was a horny little sod and I had only one thing on my mind. I was actually shaking with excitement as I led her to a quiet shed on the edges of the school grounds in anticipation of what was about to happen, with never a single thought of what she must be feeling. And there, on a sack in among the gardening equipment, I forced her to couple with me and so lost my virginity, completely ignoring her sobbing as we had clumsy sex which lasted all of 30 seconds before I ejaculated prematurely. Disappointed as I was, I recall being elated by the sight of my semen leaking out of her, and spent the rest of the day staring at her, fascinated by the thought that she had my jizz inside her. I'd like to say I only made her undergo this horror once, but we had sex dozens of times over the next few months before her family moved to another town, though at least I had the sense to start using condoms. I never saw her again, and it has been a constant source of shame that I was such a selfish moron back then that my desire for easy sex over-rode any other consideration. I've often thought about tracing her so that I can apologise but, if I were in her place, I'd just spit in my face. So I live with the guilt and just hope she found a better life away from her father...and me.

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Sex October 25, 2017 at 12:00 am 2 2