I have spent my life being far too nice. I always put others first and offer insight and encouragement to them. I am really good at noticing things and giving people positive support. (I should have become a shrink). The problem is that most of them time it has come at my own expense. I encourage someone, and then they take the opportunity I have been working towards. I not only lose my dreams, but don't even get credit for helping. I'm sick and tired of being overlooked.
There is a darkly mean side I've never shown anyone. I am equally as good at it as I am being positive. 2/3rds of this life have been giving for free, now it will be taking for free. If somebody has wronged me, their a target the rest of their lives. I'm not "letting it go to move on", that didn't work. I am the persistent fear of the dark that is always watching and ready to strike. I have had far more satisfaction and fulfillment handing out the abuse people deserve than all the benefits of helping people who ignore me.
September created a monster, and I won't go back.
TimOther September 21, 2020 at 11:01 am00