Fresh Confessions · Why Do I do this

Why Do I do this

I am a single (divorced) Mom of a four year old little girl. I have a decent job and a comfortable home with very little debt. I am a little chunky maybe 30 lbs over weight. I have what people tell me is a great personality. Yet I get almost zero dates. I am active in my community and church. I have tried on line dating. I just can’t seem to attract guys.
Once a month or so I go out to a club and act like a total slut. I get lots of attention then and always end up taking some guy home for meaningless sex. Why don’t guys like the real me.

Janda Relationships April 30, 2019 at 11:31 am 1 0

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48 Confession Comments

I hate to say it, but I suspect the answer to your question is in your first sentence: ..."Mom of a four year old little girl."

Don't get me wrong. I believe there are many men who would enter into a relationship with you, knowing that you have a child. But, for some reason, the idea of a 'ready-made' family is very frightening.

When a guy has a night of "meaningless sex" with you he gets the pleasure without the obligation. No doubt many of them would enjoy an on-going relationship that consisted of meaningless sex without obligations. Just realize that when you do that you are satisfying your own immediate physical needs, not looking for a potential serious relationship. Have you gone to bed with some of these men in the hope that it would blossom into a fulfilling relationship? If so, I think you are mistaken.

Love your precious little girl. And hang in there. There are good guys who are 'okay' with your situation.

Ben 5 years ago

You not only have a child, you have an ex. Nobody in their right mind gets involved with that. They can't treat the child the way they feel best, they have to answer to the other parent and then wonder why that relationship didn't work. Not worth the risk.

#BenThere 5 years ago

let me analyze this over time and I will give you my opinion. Just one question know, how old are you?

jim 5 years ago

Jim and Ben
I am 30 I will be 31 in June. If I was honest with my self I guess I Have slept with two guys hoping it would turn into something more.

Janda 5 years ago

I am not sure that being divorced and have a child is really a problem. Divorced people have partners and get married all the time. I think sometime things just happen naturally. I have been single for years and would love to have a warm lady by mi side specially in cold nights, but it just has not happened.

bill 5 years ago

To Bill and Janda...

Yes, single moms with children can and do find life-partners. But it's tougher. SOME guys get scared off. They want the sex, but not the commitment. The 'supply' of available men shrinks for single moms. But, there are men who will make great husbands/fathers.

Ben 5 years ago

You say you are “chunky”. Tell me how tall you are ,what your measurements are and how much you weigh.

Chad 5 years ago

I am 5’8 3/4” and my weight is between 160-165 lbs but I am really trying to get some weight off. I was 135 when I was in High School and College. My measurements are 34C / 28/36.

Janda 5 years ago

You don’t sound like you are chunky to me. Don’t be so negative about yourself. You have a lot more going for you than most women I date.

Chad 5 years ago

Chad
Thank you so much for the nice comments.

Janda 5 years ago

The right man just has not come into your life yet.

Mike 5 years ago

Janda
What part of the country do you live in and what do you do for a living. How long have you been divorced.

Chad 5 years ago

I live in the western part. Think Rocky Mountains not west coast. I am an accountant (CPA) just passed the test this winter. I have been working toward that for almost four years. I have been divorced almost three years.

Janda 5 years ago

One last question. What caused the divorce???

Chad 5 years ago

I tell people it was caused by PlayStation. My ex is addicted to gaming. He is slowly headed for big problems. He recently got demoted at work and has all kinds of financial problems.

Janda 5 years ago

You really sound like a great lady. I wish I could get to know you better. Would you be interested in getting to know me?

Chad 5 years ago

I am always ready to make new friends. If you have a long distance relationship in mind then that is another story

Janda 5 years ago

Where to begin???? I live in Phoenix how close are you???

Chad 5 years ago

Not real close I live in Denver.

Jands 5 years ago

I have one idea that came to me this morning. Give me a few days to work on it. Check for a post on Monday.

Chad 5 years ago

Hands
I can fly in on 6/21 pick up a rental and check into a motel in your area. We could meet in a public spot at a place and time of your choosing. How does that sound?

Chad 5 years ago

I have to be very careful about this. I would like to know some things about you before we go any further. Give me some basic info.

Janda 5 years ago

Ok. I’m 32 and about average in most things. I’m 6’1” and 215 lbs. short brown hair and brown eyes. I own three fast food joints in metro Phoenix. I have a degree in business from ASU. I am single never married. I played Football in college but was not fast enough to be a pro. I like to travel and be outdoors. I play a lot go golf when not working.

Chad 5 years ago

No girlfriend now or what? Have you lived with someone or had a long relationship? Do you date much now?
Are you coming to Denver just to see me??

Jands 5 years ago

OBTW—I have lost 8 lbs so I am now 155lbs

Janda 5 years ago

No girl for awhile. I lived with someone for almost two years but she wanted her freedom and moved in with her aunt. I think she just wasn’t as into us as I was at that time. I date only occasionally as my work week is very hectic and I tend to only go out on Saturday. Yes I would be coming to town to see you.

Chad 5 years ago

I come from a golfing family. I played High School Golf. I play in a women’s league in the summer. So you are about as good with women as I am with guys from the sound of your love life. We need to talk about likes and dislikes and who has the most baggage. Me of course as I have a daughter and an Ex plus a lot of drama I’m my life now with him.

Janda 5 years ago

I like fat people (they are the core of my business) and I dislike people that eat organic vegetables (they are bad for business) I like being warm (born and raised in Az) I like women that are 5’8” tall and weigh 155 lbs

Chad 5 years ago

Do I have this right? You get laid by a stranger about once a month for the last 3 years. So roughly 30 guys for you since the divorce????

Jason 5 years ago

I went to church and felt pretty good about myself today. Then I checked this for new posts. It isn’t every month but a lot of them so maybe 20 guys in 3 years. So yes Jason you are right I am not playing a slut I am one.

Janda 5 years ago

I cried a lot last night. Even Sofia (my daughter) noticed and tried to help me “feel better”. Chad you should know the truth about me and Jason already brought some of it out in the open. I have a lot of priorities in my life. My kid,God,family,work,friends. I don’t have much room for myself. I am not as self confident as I appear. I have sought comfort in the wrong ways at times. I have a lot that I have confessed to God about myself but to nobody else. My life is such a mess. I am such a sinner. If you want to back out Chad I understand. Dating someone like me isn’t very attractive to most guys. I am living proof of that.

Janda 5 years ago

Janda
Don’t sweat the small stuff and don’t feel bad about being a normal 31 year old Woman with needs and desires. I still want to come meet you. Super busy at work this week. More later

Cgad 5 years ago

I read that the average is 14.3 sexual party for a 30 year old single woman under 35. Seems to me you might not be all that far from the norm.

Jason 5 years ago

Jason—I have not kept a journal nor do I have total recall. If I was to guess it would be 3 in High School. 4 in college. 2 before marriage only my ex during marriage and he has already been accounted for and 20 or so since divorced. So call it 30 maybe as high as 35. So that is what I am confessing to.

Janda 5 years ago

Janda
A guy sleepers with 30 women he is a stud. A woman sleeps with 30 guys she is a slut. I don’t think that is a good way to look at things in today’s world. I have had my moments also so let’s forget the past and move on. Are we on for next weekend

Chad 5 years ago

Chad
I would like to see you but this weekend is not going to work for me.

Janda 5 years ago

I am pretty much committed for most of July at this point. Maybe I can shake free the last weekend (July 26.27 and 28.

Chad 5 years ago

Chad
I hope you are able to work in a trip to see me next month. I am so curious about you and how we will get along. I have lost another four pounds so I am knocking on the door of 150 now.

Janda. 5 years ago

So Janda how is your life now. Did it help to examine your intentions? Have you gone out at all?

Jason 5 years ago

I am working, caring for my daughter and going to church. I have had no dates and have not been out to the bars. I have been supporting my parents who are both having health issues. In short I am the boring new me. I wish there was more to tell but there isn’t.

Janda. 5 years ago

Janda
Would you tell us about a couple of the times you had a one nighter. Best and Worst

Jason 5 years ago

Jason
I have confessed to being with more guys than a lot of women. I have asked God’s forgiveness and admitted my weakness to you and anyone that reads this. I don’t want to go down the road of kissing and telling.

Janda. 5 years ago

I am very happy this morning. I have gotten my weight down to 145 lbs. that is a loss of 20 lbs so far and only 10 lbs more to go to hit my goal.

Janda. 5 years ago

Congratulations Janda way to go girl. I am in the middle of a business deal that is eating up all my time. Can we still think about a weekend at the end of the month?

Chad 5 years ago

Yes by all means I would love to finally meet you

Janda. 5 years ago

Ok. I will arrive on United at 3:55 PM and grab a rental next Friday 7/26. Give me a time and place to meet you.

Chad 5 years ago

Meet me in the lobby of the Holiday Inn at Parker Road and E470 at 6:30pm. I work close by and live near there as well. It is not a bad commute from DIA. Just grab E470 as come out of DIA and go south. I will have a red dress on with a black scarf and a large Black bag and heels. I will be in the chairs by the registration desk. See you soon

Janda. 5 years ago

This will be my last post. Thanks to all of you for your insight and suggestions. A special thanks to Chad. I had a wonderful weekend with you and hope to see you again soon

Janda. 5 years ago

Why Do I do this

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