All confessions from Funny

[1272] Cigarette
 -  One time I was at this bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I did not smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarett...

2 weeks 0 days 14 hours 12 minutes 48 seconds ago
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[1164] secret job
 -  me, my guy cousin and my boyfriend were lying in bed, me in the middle. the lights were off and we were watching a movie. I gave my boyfriend a hand job and he came, and my cousin had no idea!!

8 weeks 1 day 20 hours 22 minutes 36 seconds ago
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[1123] dirty candy
 -  Once I was walking my dogs on my lunch break and I saw this fun-size Kit Kat bar on the sidewalk. The wrapper was all dirty and muddy but it hadn't been opened. It looked really old but I was starving so i ate it--it wsan't that bad! Then on the...

10 weeks 2 days 12 hours 32 minutes 0 seconds ago
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[1111] prank
 -  my GF thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. Now I have no eyelashes.

11 weeks 1 day 14 hours 7 minutes 47 seconds ago
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[1102] wee wee
 -  I have to go pee so bad--I am at work--but I can't stop reading this website. I hope I don't piss my pants. If I did, it wouldn't be the first time. Once when I was working on this really difficult project for work (I was working form home), I ...

12 weeks 6 days 8 hours 26 minutes 55 seconds ago
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[1071] Embarrassing
 -  a cat came up to me on the sidewalk so I petted it a little. Then an old man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!"

15 weeks 5 days 12 hours 52 minutes 43 seconds ago
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[972] morning paper
 -  I woke up and went outside to get the morning paper like usual, I went outside with my bath robe on and when I leaned down to get my paper my bath robe became undone. Apparently everyone on my street saw it and decided to bring up public nudity at...

26 weeks 2 days 14 hours 47 minutes 29 seconds ago
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[826] instant message
 -  My friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Techno...

45 weeks 0 days 13 hours 44 minutes 32 seconds ago
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[822] scratches
 -  I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some random new scratches on the front. I proceeded to kick and rub it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked...

45 weeks 1 day 14 hours 11 minutes 58 seconds ago
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[761] jump into the pool
 -  I was getting hot so I decided to jump into the pool... naked. As soon as I got in, very suddenly it started hailing. I got hit with blocks of ice in places no man should.

46 weeks 4 days 13 hours 36 minutes 24 seconds ago
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